Locus of Life

In my heart, there’s a different world altogether. One that’s burnt out, but never lost. I find man, woman, child disguised by the face of time. Winds blow from far away, tearing, ripping apart and making love! “What do you want to know?” asks the tide. Be it here, be it there, there’ll always be day after a night! Innocent hands for healing the pain...sleepless nights and amber eyes makes way to the mystic blues. The water remains but the river has changed course. Prayers, promises, predicaments of the past, fear, fortune, fertility of the future, peers, plights, poisons of the present gives the hope to burn down the candle, for there will be a night after every single day!
I cry with crystalline eyes, my heart weeps with the antagonized passion; never before did I put out the fire…but I do now! Music stretches out rewinding to an effleurage of mind. Claustrophobic, cadaverine canvas attempts to confine the carcass of confounded chivalry! Caustic, bitter and corrosive taste in erosive mouth, blends away the rage and ramp with the docile, present existence. The balcony remains, with shadows of the past, echoes of the distant, residue of the rouges and a placid promise for eternity. Faces change but the occult lore remains, passed down and well cherished. I pull away, never being perturbed for as long as there’s earth beneath and sky above, you’ve got no fear, my dear!
The engine’s running. It’s hot…fuel grueling inside the tower. You get inside…you sit beside yourself! It takes time…getting the hang of it. But once you’ve mastered the art there’s no stopping you from running the machine! It’s difficult…making your way out of the pattern. But it’s worth…once you get it out of you! There’s a plateau, a pyramid, myriads of mystic mountains and a conduit of watercourse following you. You call in your sleep…you fall when awake, you’ll find the different world, traveling fast on the furious forces pretending to be the master of all the slavery of your whole life! Accelerators pushed down to the floor, gears shifted up to the top…you run along, fearless…and after a while, peerless! It’s easy to put your gun down, with condition, you can’t retreat. You follow the path, unsure where it ends. You want to stop…but the path goes on…you can’t stop! And the gear shoots even more…surmounting all the obstacles in its way. The journey that began from inside the womb of the cosmic globe still goes on, with the glory of yesteryears and an assurance of a nihilistic delusion.
Time’s ripe, mind’s old. Split apart by the accumulation of knowledge gained through pain. Nostalgic moments; desirous destiny, calls back in agony. I have to go. I need to go. Affection turns to addiction. I make way to the raving winds…to take me to the journey again…this time not through it, but over it. I find peace and a nest to burn down my deepest desires and remain. I remain, waiting for the night to end; to find myself a new day...

Hypocrisy

How is a man different from a mosquito that you can’t kill him? Death is the same for both. Why is it related to darkness? It can be bright and beaming and lustrous. It is a web that we are entangled to. If we hadn’t been outside the prison even once (or don’t remember the past) we try to make a home out of it. When we don’t know what light is---we try to make up a definition. We relate to the familiar gibberish resembling the sounds of a baby as words.

We all are much bigger self’s than we recognize. Death could be the gateway to get back to ourselves. Life---does it have a meaning or that word has been coined up as a courteous synonym of selfishness? “Reality” should be the only word in the dictionary but with a different meaning---one which we still don’t know. Love is a curse but you still love to pant after an orgasm. You love, you desire---you desire, you live on. That’s narcissistic, and again a synonym of selfishness. When you close your eyes, they are open within. Only when you know the meaning of dimension, you can enumerate it. We are happy (whatever it means) not to think or not being able to, but are we really? Think of the weirdest thing you’ve ever wanted to do and think that it’s done, all that you wanted to have, you have---so what do you end up with? Or rather what do you start over with? Ever wondered why we end up to 9 as the highest single digit? That’s our limitation. Ever wondered why you can’t love everyone you see? That’s our limitation. Nothing is something you never get, but you always long for nothing. The only way to find nothing is to become one.

So since you have read so far, what are you waiting for? Just go get yourself dead, step back into the world of unknown realities, adios…….

COLOR OF MY SNOW

I can’t stand this poison...anymore;

Help me with a tourniquet...someone;

I can’t stand this darkness...anymore;

Give me back the color of my snow...someone.

Acid running down my veins,

Momentous avalanche of purgatory,

I wish to rewind to a baby,

I wish to get back the color of my snow!

I can’t find the shooting star...anymore;

Find me my doppelganger...someone;

I can’t live with this brown blood...anymore;

Give me back the color of my snow...someone.

Irritation, agitation, full fledged insurrection;

Infusion, lost identities, blended distinctions;

Correlated confusions, I wish to resuscitate,

I wish to get back the color of my snow!

I can’t believe in reason...anymore;

Find me the path back to faith...someone;

I cant to the temptation to live...anymore;

Give me the power to cogitate...someone.

I was born with a promise of death,

Now I lay back at the premises of death;

Sponge, vial, tube, rubber band, fire and ice,

All said and done, I want back the color of my snow!!

CoNFusioNs Of a DanGeRoUs MinD

Aiming at the “snitch”…run after things which don’t really matter…light the match-stick, only to realize a darker darkness. Variable in a specified path, canalized thru an inlet-body-outlet junction…still move on and pass by.

Words melt down the corridor…make way to reach the pinnacle. Warm hands---that were never to be parted---a dark pimple---a darker embossed past!!! Deep shadow on the canvas---bleak fluid running down medulla spinalis…smoke burning the nostrils---still a moment of joy passes by and to my surprise I find myself happy at times. Smile intoxicated by the gradient of memory with respect to time---a dagger at the back but…shine like a star to burn out. For as long as I have memories I have to breathe.

Woods gathered to be burned, flames buried under the volcano…cry to be fortunate…stand to get going…make way to start running…hope to die early but…still live on.

ECHOES

One is truly the loneliest number,

Ever wondered why 9 is the highest single digit?

That’s our limitation,

Closing our eyes creates alienation.

Shadows cover my perceptions,

Living on life’s substrate for long,

It gave me strength enough,

Nothing makes me weep anymore.

I’ve been with anomic loners,

I’ve been in biotic community,

I’ve looked outside,

I’m looking inside.

And now when the springtime passes by,

Acrimonious words doesn’t move me,

Long lost memories reverberates back,

Leaving a little smile in my face.

Echoes of the past flows by in cadency,

Faces blurred by the mist of time,

Mistakes never to be mend,

Still I love to look back.

Nothing can instruct or conduct me,

Now when the grand-finale is nearby;

Truth is how I look at facts,

All my possessions seem futile.

If someday they ask me if I knew you.

I would smile and say,

“You were a friend of mine”,

And I walk away to remain.

(And)If someday they ask you if you knew me.

Remember that I was a friend of yours.

Lost in a different avenue,

Loved and lost in the uncertainties of life. 

Anticipations of my-ind!

I'm too old for these tricks, my Dear,
I have no hope now, no Fear!
Time went by, long tides trieless,
I still hold my breath, I'm still breathless!
I've seen lots of sunsets, days followed by,
Felt the mountains, I know even they do cry!
Yesterday seems long gone, tomorrow's longer,
I've been engaged with smoke rings, married hunger!
Candle-stands, toothpaste, letters, buried deep down,
Still thoughts fly back, but I've lost that frown!
The fulcrum's bent now, but the pendulum swings,
Won and lost a lot, still love the smile failure brings!
I've been bad, I've been good, I've overpowered mood,
Still go down the lane, beside the pool where she stood!
I don't repent my first love lost, i regret the ending,
Everyone does in the end, there's always something!
Something to end, something to begin,something in between,
Prayers, promises, care, love...old yellow tattered bulletin!
But I still behold like an amazed child, the crimson covers,
Life's still a cricket match, spell, bounce, till the end of overs!
Life's short, time's running out, still I find nothing to do,
(But)I'm happy I could look back and ahead, from over the plateau!
Standing on a horizontal line, waiting for the slope to change,
I look at myself, I stare back, pretty regular, still it seems strange!
I lie back, close my eyes, feel the breeze fading away, bidding goodbye,
I salute them, they erase out the sand curvings, smoothening and passing by!
I lie back, I want to sleep, I want to dream, as I once did,
I'd slept, I'd dreamt, I had the power to cry, like a sprouting seed!